I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you would pick up someone in the library
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
