Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
