A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
