I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
