you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
