i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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