How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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