Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
