I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
