Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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