This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
