No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
