okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize