I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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