i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
