We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
