Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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