So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
