Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
