I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we're making bets on your personal life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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