As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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