I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
