how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
