No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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