I hate all girls vehemently.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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