somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he shaved USA in his pubs
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
