remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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