Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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