look no pants
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize