I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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