It's Friday. Sex?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
