I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
