So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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