so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
