I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
