We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
