Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
