I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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