This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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