pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
