dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
4 words: hood of his car
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
