How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
