y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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