the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
