he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
