I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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