woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
