Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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