4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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