you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
