You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
