I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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