Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The air taste purple.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
