dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
