He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
