I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
