Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
