you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
